Seeing The World Through Both My Eyes

What It's REALLY Like Living In NYC

2009-03-25T11:51:00.005-04:00

With TV shows like "The City" and "The Real Housewives of NYC", we get to see how the "glamorous" people live in this beloved city (bad chemical peels and all - I'm talking to you, Kelly!). But really, how many people do you know that actually live like that? I know no one. I know people who like to pretend they do, and thus have obscene amounts of credit card debt, but the reality of it is, most of NYC lives something like this:

Tiny, overpriced apartment, mouse/bug problems, subway/bus to work/events (cab only when too drunk to get self home on subway), 14-hour work days for not a lot of money, shops at The Gap, Banana, H&M and Forever 21, and hangs out at dive bars where PBRs are $2 on a Friday or Saturday night (slash every night).

I want a reality show that follows the real people of New York City. A show that captures the bitter, angry residents when the MTA votes 12-1 in favor of a 25% fare hike, making a single ride $2.50 and a monthly pass $103. That goes to the dive bars and films us wearing hoodies and Chuck Taylors instead of minidresses and Louboutins, wrestling our way onto the 6 train in the mornings, screaming at the sight of a dead mouse on the kitchen floor, and getting drunk off $12 unlimited mimosas before going to the movies for the afternoon. Because that, my little apples, is how we in the Big Apple really live.

By Popular Demand...

2009-03-03T20:32:00.006-05:00

My Top 30 workout songs, in no particular order (sorry Christine, I am not posting all 206 from my playlist):

Let It Rock - Kevin Rudolf
Call on Me - Eric Prydz
Not Falling Apart - Maroon5
Fame Infamy - Fall Out Boy
Flashing Lights - Kanye
I Like The Way You Move - Bodyrockers
Valerie - Mark Ronson feat. Amy Winehouse
An Honest Mistake - The Bravery
Beat It - Fall Out Boy feat. John Mayer
Ohh La La - Goldfrapp
Genesis - Justice
Electric Feel - MGMT
I Don't Wanna Be In Love - Good Charlotte
Le Disko - Shiny Toy Guns
Hot and Cold - Katy Perry
Disturbia - Rihanna
Closer - Ne-Yo
Poker Face - Lady GaGa
Womanizer - Britney
Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon
Shut Up and Let Me Go - The Ting Tings
Around the Bend - The Asteroids Galaxy Tour
Untouched - The Veronicas
Here (In Your Arms) - HelloGoodbye
When I Grow Up - Pussycat Dolls
Yeah - Usher
Bombs Over Baghdad - Outkast
So What - Pink
Hazy Shade of Winter - The Bangles
Shut Up - Black Eyed Peas

Things I Learned About Myself On The 25 Minute Train Ride Home

2009-02-23T19:06:00.002-05:00

Slash things I always knew in the back of my mind but never fully realized until today:

I am insanely jealous of people with one or both of the following: Chanel bags, Christian Louboutins
I must walk at my own pace (which is fast); I cannot deal with people walking slowly in front of me
I cannot stand behind a pack of people waiting to cross the street; I always work my way to the front (again, so I can walk at my own pace)
When the subway is crowded, I get serious anxiety/massively irritated when people bump into my bag, which is usually slung over my shoulder

With the exception of the first bullet, I think this means that I have some personal space issues...

Friends with Exes, Yes or No?

2009-02-05T11:05:00.004-05:00

I've had this conversation with a few people lately... and it's sparked a lot of thinking. Understanding that there are varying degrees of friendship, these conversations have got me thinking about my past relationships/hookups/indiscretions.

I don't really speak to anyone that I used to call "boyfriend", although am not on bad terms with any of them. When the relationships ended, there were hard feelings with some, which took time to heal, and now, for the most part, we are silent participants in each others lives, thanks to the wonderful world of Facebook. We exchange the obligatory birthday wall post and occasional comment to a funny photo, and that's it. One continues to pester and try to push buttons, and thankfully I have reached a place where I refuse to tolerate it, and wish he would just forget my email address. He also recently said he'd be fine with seeing me since he knows there is no attraction on either side. Well, did it ever occur to him that I might not want to see him? No hard feelings, but really, what would be the point of this encounter?

The hookups and indiscretions are always slightly (and by slightly, I mean extremely) volatile, at least in my case. A one night stand is not a one night stand if you have mutual friends. I learned that the hard way, more times than I would like to admit. It's awkward, and it takes a lot of effort on both sides to make it not awkward, and if one side doesn't put in the effort, well, fuck it. Not worth my time. But I did learn something, and it's that sexual chemistry does NOT equal compatibility.

I don't think I ever could be super close friends with an ex, unless by some miraculous event we both managed to put everything behind us and move forward, and as great and perfect as that sounds, you never really know when the feelings might crop up again, even if just on one side. It's a risk both parties have to recognize, and be completely willing to take. I just don't think I have that much faith in someone who most likely broke my heart.

Things You May Or May Not Know About Me

2009-01-28T17:13:00.013-05:00

All these facebook lists have me inspired... let's see if I can get to 100.

I am better at football than kickball. But I play a mean third base.
I have not had to legitimately parallel park since my road test when I was 16.
When I was little, my mom got so mad at me she put me in the bathtub and dumped cold water on my head.
I got bit by a dalmatian when I was 8. It was on the 4th of July, and the dog jumped up and bit me on the cheek. I got $9,000 when I turned 18 because of it, in case I wanted plastic surgery to remove the scar. I didn't get the plastic surgery, and no one has ever noticed the scar unless I point it out. I did get the $9,000, and it went directly to Simmons College.
Is my favorite number. And not because of Nomah.
I took German for 5 years, and wish I had kept up with it.
Every time I drive past a cop my heart races a little and I stare in the rearview mirror until I am positive he is not going to turn around and pull me over.
I have only been pulled over once, and I just got a warning.
I have only smoked pot once in my life.
I have never smoked a cigarette. And I never plan to.
My favorite color is orange.
The cops came to my 13th birthday party because we were outside and "being too noisy".
I had my first kiss at that party, thanks to spin the bottle.
My first real kiss was a few months later, with my boyfriend, after seeing The Birdcage at the movie theater, during the credits while "We Are Family" was playing.
I have had a 20 year fascination with The Holocaust.
I visited a concentration camp in high school, and is hands down the most powerful place I have ever been.
My favorite memory of living in Brooklyn (the '82 - '88 years) is watching the fireworks over the Verrazano with my dad on the roof of our apartment building.
My favorite memory of living in Brooklyn (the '06 - '08 years) is the Memorial Day BBQ on the roof of our building in '07. That game of Cranium will live in infamy.
But then there's Tony's donut hole dance.
I will never forget the day I met Heather, when we were three in the park across the street from my apartment building. She jumped off a swing and it came back and hit her in the eye.
When Heather turned 5, I got a balloon at her birthday party. My brother, who was 2 at the time, really wanted it, so he hit me and knocked out a tooth that wasn't loose.
I got him back many years later. It involved a four square ball.
I had appliances in my mouth for 10 years. A palette expander, braces, and retainers. My teeth were messed.up.
My first pet was Bogie. Sometimes I don't think I'll ever be able to have another dog, he set the bar so high.
I wish I had met my mom's mother and grandmother, and I wish I could remember my mom's father and grandfather.
We had a Japanese exchange student when I was in 8th grade, and I spent two weeks in northern Japan the summer following. I wish I had been older when I went, I didn't appreciate it nearly as much as I would have now.
My first celebrity crush was Ron Darling.
I could name the entire starting lineup of the '86 Mets (in 1986). I remember most of them now, but not all.
I met my ex boyfriend the day that the Red Sox lost game 3 of the ALCS in 2004 19-8 to the Yankees. The first football game we watched together ended the Patriots 21 game winning streak. I think it was a sign.
I have met the guy who plays Big Bird, and spent two summers at his house in Sturbridge, MA with my family.
I have never said "I love you" and really, truly meant it (aside from my parents, brother, family, and two best friends)
I wear my heart on my sleeve, and get really hurt because of it. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I've learned so much.
I got kicked out of Girl Scouts because I missed a bridging ceremony to go to Funtown with my friends. My leader drove to my house and stood on our front lawn and yelled at my mother while she stood at the window.
2008 was my worst year so far. Except that I got to go to London.
I really, really, REALLY want a Chanel Bag.
I was told that I am too nice by a person who I let treat me like shit for far too long. And now I silently protest him when I see him, which isn't very often (and I guess it's not so silent anymore).
Sex makes everything more complicated. Even not having sex makes it more complicated.
My favorite class in high school was AP Literature with Mr. Krill. The only book I hated was Pride and Prejudice. I couldn't finish it.
My favorite class in college was Women in Literature with Kelly Hager. That was when I fell in love with Pride and Prejudice.
I cry during the ASPCA commercials with Sarah McLachlan.
My favorite smell is my mom's pasta sauce.
It's also my favorite thing to eat. Don't even need pasta. Just give me a spoon and I'm good to go.
The only time there are no thoughts going through my head is when I am swimming.
I loved growing up practicing two religions. Well during the holidays, at least.
I sadly identify with Katherine Heigl's character in 27 Dresses on so many levels.
When I was little, my dad used to come home from work with a pack of Rolos, and he'd always give me the last one. For the last number of years, I've gotten my dad a pack of Rolos for Christmas.
I have a freckle on my left eye.
I am extremely bothered by people who are the "friend of the moment" type. The ones you're super close with for a little while and then all of a sudden, for reasons either unknown or nonexistent, you a dropped like a bad habit for someone else.
My new years resolution is to branch out. And spend more time with my college friends and my family.
If I could have any superpower, I'd want the power of teleportation.
I am fascinated by photography. It's why I take so many pictures.
I am an extremely sentimental person. This is also why I take so many pictures.
The most embarrassing thing that happened to me in elementary school was when I tried to open my crush's thermos of soup and dumped the entire thing on myself. It was clam chowder. Thank god my mom worked at the school and could take me home to change.
There are pictures of me from when I was 9 and 10 wearing NY Giants gear. No one will ever see these photos. Ever.
I also used to own a NY Rangers Stanley Cup Champions t-shirt. These are the things that happen when your entire family is from NY and you're sort of too young to make appropriate decisions on what teams to root for.
I have had a bruise on my left shin since I was 13.
I am pretty certain I am going to get breast cancer one day. I just hope to god there's a cure by the time I get it.
My favorite memory from college is my 21st birthday. And yes, I remember it.
There is not a single person who knows everything about me. Not even me.
I hope that my love for John Mayer never dies. There's something very comforting about it.
I am still bitter that My So Called Life and Arrested Development were cancelled. And Newsradio was never the same without Phil Hartman.
When I was in college, my dad sent me an email every morning when he got to work. One morning, my roommate and I were getting ready for class and I was reading my dad's email telling me how he and my mom had talked to my Uncle Stuart the night before, and how American Airlines had promoted him and he was now piloting 767's and they were so proud of him. 10 minutes later a girl down the hall came running into the room and told me to turn on the TV. An American Airlines 767 had crashed into the World Trade Center. It took me two hours before I could get a hold of one of my parents to tell me that my uncle was not in Boston when he talked to my parents. I have never been more scared in my entire life.
I have a disgusting addiction to facebook.
I miss walking around Brookline staring at the gorgeous houses with Jen and Kate.
I think my mother is the funniest and smartest woman I know.
Whenever I see a commercial for a drug, I play a game with myself to see if I can guess who manufactures it. Yes I am a nerd. But I am also usually right.
My true "nerd" and "you work too much" wake up call was when I realized, while watching a drug commercial for a sleeping pill, that Ambien means "good morning." Think about it.
The saddest thing I've ever witnessed was my 12 year old cousin's funeral. I was 13. I think he is part of the reason I am so passionate about oncology. Along with my mom's mother.
I will most likely be back in Boston in the next five years.
If I'm not in Boston, I'll be in London. I definitely don't think I'll be here.
I do not practice portion control.
My father is an amazing artist, and I wish he would draw and paint more.
I also wish he'd stop smoking. And get a colonoscopy and have his liver function and lungs checked. Actually I just wish he'd go to the doctor. If you're reading this dad, GO TO THE DOCTOR.
I am afraid of getting old.
College was the best four years of my life. I would not have done anything differently.
My brother and I are more alike than we realize. I think this is why we used to argue so much.
I cry a lot. Sometimes for no reason. Lots of times when I am trying to fall asleep.
I love reconnecting with people from my past. It keeps me grounded, and then I can never forget where I came from.
I hated growing up in Maine. It was cold, and boring. I know I can never live there again, but my god do I love visiting.
Favorite memory of college #2: Adrienne leaping out of her closet at 3 AM when I got home from a party. Oh you best believe I got her back.
Moving to Manhattan from Brooklyn has made me incredibly lazy.
I had a crush on the same guy from 4th grade all the way through high school. I haven't seen him in years, but I am pretty sure if/when I do, I'll still get butterflies.
I do not think Uggs are ugly.
I live in a three bedroom apartment that is smaller than the one bedroom I lived in when I was little.
For the first five years of my life, I was raised by my parents, my Uncle Mike who is 12 years older than me, and my fairy godparents across the hall, Grace and Joe.
My Uncle Mike and I are the only two people on either side of my family that are left handed. Thank god he is, otherwise I don't think I'd ever have learned how to tie my shoes.
I hate the way I look in my glasses.
I already have names picked out for a daughter and a son. Whoever I marry will have to like it.
I was named after a song, and my mom's mother. I hated my middle name until I learned the significance of the Jewish tradition. Now when my mom says "you are exactly like my mother," it actually means something.
I want to be able to do legit push ups. I have zero upper body strength.
My favorite food combination is tomato and mozzarella.
I cried at the end of Mary Poppins.
I am determined to get an apartment by myself this year. Even if it means moving back to Brooklyn. Maybe then I will become less lazy.
My bedroom at my parents house has a curved ceiling. I call it my igloo. Also because there is no heat in there.
I never had a real nickname until I got to college. Now I have about 5.
I don't know how to take a compliment.
My dream job would be a photojournalist for National Geographic. The perfect combination of travel, photography and writing.
I really want to go to Greece. And on a Safari.
I wish I was artistic.
I haven't touched my flute since my final band concert in June 2000. I miss it.

My Workout Playlist

2009-01-24T18:00:00.003-05:00

Is a lot like my love life. Lots of songs, no favorites. Whenever I find a new song that I really like, especially one that really gets me going (think Kanye's Flashing Lights), I become obsessed, and listen over...and over...and over...and over... until I can't take it any more and hardly ever listen to it again. This is why my workout playlist has 193 songs on it.

Maybe someday I will find my 3 x 5. I never get tired of that song.

Things I Hate That Everyone Else Loves

2009-01-21T20:52:00.003-05:00

I'm embracing my distaste for things. Here we go, in no particular order:

Bob Dylan
Bruce Springsteen
Star Wars
Green Peppers
Red Hot Chili Peppers
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Modern Art
Lobster
Anything seafood related, really

I'm sure this list will grow as more things come to me...

Horoscopes

2009-01-17T20:32:00.002-05:00

Description of a Sagittarius, with commentary (thanks, Wikipedia):

Witty conversationalist, humorous - SURE!
Freedom loving / free-spirited- I think so
Idealistic / believing - Definitely
Moral, often having a religious streak. Righteous. - Hell no
Intelligent / intellectual - I have an IQ of 149.
Positive / optimistic - Most of the time.
Blindly optimistic (negative trait) - See above.
Honest / sincere - I try to be.
Confident and Impulsive - No way.
Enterprising, ambitious, devoted to their goals - Absolutely.
Cocky (negative trait) - Uhhh... not so much.
Energetic / active - Yep.
Adventurous / risk-taking - Ehhhh...
Independent - to a fault.
Approachable / warm - I like to think so.
Cheerful / likeable - See above.
Sympathetic / generous - to a fault.
Temperamental - Hell yes.
Impatient / restless - Have you seen me in traffic?
Indiscreet, careless - Uh, no.
Blunt and childlike - No.
Tactless and exaggerating - No.
Irresponsible and superficial - Sometimes.

Today's horoscope:
You may believe you have the right solution to a problem that has continued to bother you. Unfortunately, you may change your mind a few more times before you settle on one particular path. Don't head off prematurely. It's better to wait and see if you feel the same way later or if your final answer will be different from your current one. Be careful; your sense of urgency could trick you into making an uninformed decision.

Spot on, Rick Levine. Whoever you are.

Lobster

2009-01-13T23:25:00.005-05:00

It's a well known fact that I dislike lobster. I've been known to have some when it's not in it's natural state (in the shell and staring at me all creepy like), usually in ravioli (because anything involving pasta is good in my book), but it's generally a food I like to stay away from. This could be due to a bad experience when I was 8 watching one leap out of pot of boiling water my mom had just placed it in, but that's an entirely different post altogether. And don't even get me started on that green stuff.

When it came time to send a dear friend in London a birthday gift, I joked that I would send him something Maine-related, potentially some live lobster. This led to discussions of what would happen trying to get live lobster through customs, and what would happen if he set them free in the Thames river (I would be responsible for an out of control lobster population in the city of London). In the end, I sent him a giant red, plastic lobster, which is currently sitting on his desk in his office on the opposite side of the Atlantic. Probably staring at him creepily like it would if it was on his dinner plate.

Myth or fact: lobsters mate for life. Let me tell you, I was a little disappointed to learn that this is, in fact, a myth. This means that Ross and Rachel can't be each other's lobsters, which brings me to a whole new level of disappointment. I always liked the phrase "he's your lobster!" because it de-romanticizes the idea of finding your soulmate, without taking away the meaning. Now I guess I just have to settle for finding my penguin.

Somewhere Between "Treats Me Like Shit" and "Wants Me To Have His Babies ASAP"

2009-01-11T21:41:00.007-05:00

Dating in NYC. It has inspired movies, television shows, and songs. Having lived here for almost three years, I have certainly had my shares of encounters, all of which will remain OUT of this blog because who knows who will actually end up reading this thing.

One of my favorite parts of dating is the day or two after a date where you recap the events over and over (and over) both in your head, and with your girlfriends (sometimes guy friends). This is where, usually only when discussing the bad dates, the nicknames come in. This enables the conversations to continue, without ever having to use the person's name. And I'm not talking about nicknames like Blue Eyes (although Tongue in Ear Guy still makes me laugh to this day), I'm talking about names like The Irish Curse, Oscar, Big Bennett (although he wasn't a bad date... or a date at all), Chewbacca, Robin, Batman, BTLC, that, unless you explain it to people, only your closest girlfriends know what it means. It's what makes the bad dates just that much more bearable. Well, that and the knowledge that you never have to see them again.

The Perfect Gift

2009-01-11T20:21:00.000-05:00

Is both thoughtful and unexpected. It doesn't need to be expensive (but a girl will never turn down a great piece of jewelry!).

In high school mix tapes fell into this category, and then in college it was CD mixes. They consisted of songs that genuinely reminded the giver of you, whether they were some of your favorites or songs you'd never even heard before. It was one of the more thoughtful and economical gifts you could give a person.

I have learned about some of my favorite musicians from these mix tapes/CDs (Travis, Coldplay, Keane). I still have one friend who regularly makes CDs for her friends/family, but buy in large the introduction of mp3 players has taken away the need for these kind of gifts to be given, because no one needs CDs anymore.

So in an age where these seem to have become a thing of the past, what do you do when you have no money but want to give someone a great gift? You could make something, but many people are not crafty. If you're a great shopper, you can always score a great deal. And sometimes, you just get lucky, and the perfect gift falls in your lap.

I recently received possibly the best gift ever. It was thoughtful, unexpected, and economical, and allowed me to make a complete ass out of myself for one evening (which is one of my favorite things to do, anyway). My New England Patriots helmet (given to me by a Giants fan, no less) was handed to me completely wrapped (so I had NO idea what it was, haha) and brought joy and laughter to all those around me. Wearing it made me feel both ridiculous and yet totally unique. At face value, it's just a helmet, but just looking at it now reminds me of one of the best nights of my life, and how incredible each and every one of my friends are.

Facebook WAS My Blog

2009-01-11T19:45:00.000-05:00

And my status messages were generally (and still are) a good indication of what I was seeing/doing/thinking at any point during any given day. But then it dawned on me that sometimes I have just a little bit more to say than what can fit in that little space at the top of my profile, so here I am.

Fear not, though, my facebook statuses will still be updated regularly, and pictures will always be posted promptly following a night on the town.

xoxo